JG Judgementally Comments...

Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die

Old Man Yells At Clouds: The Movie

What’s The Movie? The 2025 movie I forgot to watch, Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die

What’s It All About, JG? A nameless man from the future (Sam Rockwell) arrives in a Los Angeles diner, ranting about being there to save the world and needing to recruit people from the diner to help him do that. AI destroys the world in the future, and he’s travelled back in time to install some safety protocols in the software before it becomes self-aware to ensure that humanity survives. If that sounds a bit Terminator-y, well, you’re not wrong. Anyway, the man grabs a motley connection of people – including a couple of teachers, a kids-party princess, a lonely woman who just wants pie, among others – and they escape the diner after the cops get called. They’re hunting for the “daddy of the AI”, a 9 year old boy who created it. After overcoming a collection of sometimes-funny, sometimes-surreal, sometimes-violent mishaps, they find the boy’s house, only to discover that the AI is creating itself. It turns out the man from the future is the son of one of the women he took from the diner – Ingrid, the Princess (Haley Lu Richardson). Ingrid’s allergic to technology but forces herself to install the safety protocols. Thinking they’ve succeeded, they go outside to celebrate, only for the man to see they’ve been tricked. He realises the security protocols don’t work, so zaps back to the future with a new plan – infect the world with Ingrid’s tech allergy via rats. He reappears at the diner from the start of the film, and the whole loop begins again.

The Manipulated (조각도시)

Back to some K-Drama with The Manipulated but can it manipulate you into watching?

What’s the Show? The 2025 Korean series, The Manipulated (조각도시)

What’s It All About, JG? Genial, mild-mannered delivery guy Park Tae-jung (Ji Chang-wook) is going about his normal life when he gets a call asking him to return a mobile phone that’s been lost for the promise of a reward. Deciding to, indeed, return the phone, he is instead framed for a murder and sent to prison. This is all a dastardly plan by An Yo-han (Doh Kyungo-s00), a sculptor/bad guy who is paid by very high-ranking clients to frame someone else for crimes they’ve committed. In this case, the son of an Assemblyman killed a woman in a drug-and-sex-fueled rage, and Park Tae-jung is framed for it, so the son gets off scot-free. The rest of the show is Park Tae-jung’s attempts to escape, clear his name, and bring down the whole conspiracy. He’s helped on the outside by a friend he made in prison, No Yong-sik (Kim Jong-soo), imprisoned for murdering his wife and trying desperately to reconnect with his estranged daughter on the outside. Along the way, there’s a fight to the death via car chase, assassins a-plenty, all the high-speed chases one could reasonably expect, some really strong character work, and a great collection of characters. Can Park Tae-jung clear his name and get his life back?

Project Hail Mary

Can Ryan Gosling save the sun with the aid of a sentient pebble?

What’s It All About, JG? The Earth’s sun and almost all nearby stars are getting eaten by microbes – a plot so believable it’s possible it was a rejected sequel to The Core – but it’s discovered that one isn’t. That means it’s down to a small team of astronauts to go figure out why. Unfortunately, only one survives the trip, Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling), and he’s got amnesia, the better to explain the plot in flashbacks. Orbiting Tau Ceti e, the only star without Space Cooties, he encounters a stone-like alien he dubs Rocky. Between the two of them, they have to figure out how to save the sun (well, lots of suns), get their cure back to their respective civilisations, and survive long enough for a feel-good ending. Do they make it? Yes. Yes they do.

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

Link takes to the high seas but will it prove to be a storm in a teacup?

What’s The Game? The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (that’s the original, not the HD remaster with quality of life improvements)

What’s It All About, JG? Being the cutest darned game in the whole of toon town! But aside from that, while Link is having his coming of age ceremony, Tetra the pirate is dropped on Outset Island, his home, and Link rescues her. In the meantime, his sister is abducted, which means our feisty little fella needs to set out on the high seas to rescue her! Tetra’s along for the ride too, agreeing to help get his sister back. That means finding a special talking boat, the King of Red Lions, to safely ferry him across the open waters (and explaining any relevant plot details – Link very much sails the good ship Exposition in this game). Tetra and Link are eventually able to rescue Link’s sister, where a confrontation with Ganondorf reveals that Tetra has a Triforce necklace and is the descendant of Zelda herself. After visiting a sunken Hyrule under the waves, where Tetra is revealed to be Actual Zelda, not just a descendant, Link assembles the shards of the Triforce, using them to defeat Ganondorf in the final battle. But, in a twist, the King of Hyrule – Link’s boat, obviously – decides that the old order should be washed away and Ganondorf is turned to stone. Link and a restored Tetra escape while the King, Ganondorf, and old Hyrule are swept away forever.

Hades II

Can sequel Hades II maintain the god-like status of the original?

What’s The Game? Hades II

What’s It All About, JG? Well, it’s the sequel to Hades, isn’t it? You play as Melinoië, a princess of the Underworld and sister to the original game’s Zagreus. Chronos, the Titan of Time, has taken over the House of Hades and imprisoned Melinoë’s family, so she’s on a mission to kill Chronos and restore her family. She’s been mentored by Hecate, who’s kept her hidden at a secret location called the Crossroads, while Melinoë has spent her life training to defeat Chronos. The game is, as with the first Hades, a roguelike, so with each run, Melinoë gains knowledge, skills, and resources which help take her closer to her goal. Unlike the first game, however, there are two paths for Melinoë to follow – there’s the initial one back to the House of Hades, which takes her through three different biomes, but this time there’s also an “upstairs” run which takes her to the very peak of Mount Olympus itself to defeat Typhon, the worst of all monsters. Can Melinoë manage to defeat the Titan of Time and free her family from his imprisonment?

Death to Chronos!

Countdown

Can we count on Coundown to give Jensen Ackles a decent starring vehicle? Um…

What’s The Show? Countdown, Amazon’s attempt to get into the 24 market long, long after that seems like a Sensible Thing To Do.

What’s It All About JG? Starring, let’s say, Jensen Ackles as Detective Mark Meachum, Countdown asks a searingly pointed question – what if thrillers just somehow aren’t dumb enough yet? This one posits a threat which is going to be like 9/11 and Chernobyl, which is quite the thing – Meachum and a collection of the sort of people you always see in this type of thriller have joined a special task force dedicated to stopping whoever it is that’s planning this dastardly and nefarious deed. Not just any task force, see. A special one. Which means they get to do stunts and hacking and jumping and broom-broom fast driving, all while trying to prevent LA being turned into a fair approximation of the dark side of the moon. Oh and then also a potential presidential assassination that needs to be stopped as well, for reasons that seem to have less to do with the story and more to do with having something to do in the last three episodes after inconveniently wrapping up the plot far too early and also curing Meachum. Good luck with all that!

And Introducing… Billy Joel

One of the most successful singer/songwriters of all time, introduced

What’s The Topic? One of the most successful musical artists of the 20^th century, the singer/songwriter Billy Joel.

Billy Joel is one of the few artists who genuinely needs no introduction. A giant of the music industry from the early 70’s until his final album in 1993, Joel has enjoyed commercial success like virtually no-one else. Currently ranked as the third highest selling solo artist in American music history, his commercial success has been vast and, though well-appreciated as both a musician and songwriter, credibility has rarely been one of Joel’s hallmarks. Well loved but, you know, never cool.

Since officially ending his recording career in 1993 after a run of twelve studio albums, Joel has continued to tour to record-breaking success. He is now so popular that he became a resident and franchise of Madison Square Gardens in New York City, performing one concert per month, and was awarded the Kennedy Centre Honours in 2013 for his lifetime contribution to American culture. That’s quite the achievement, that is.

Despite a troubled personal life that’s taken in three marriages, depression, a suicide attempt and alcohol dependency issues, Joel managed to produce record-breaking music successfully for three decades and remains an inescapable part of any story of music in the 20^th century. And with a surprising new single released in 2025 as well as a brand new retrospective, And So It Goes, released the same year and providing a remarkably unflinching look at his career and personal life, it’s a perfect time to rediscover an artist whose back catalogue remains an indelible part of American music.

Superman

Superman is back! But can the character still work in a modern context?

What’s the Movie? Superman, 2025 version

What’s It All About, JG? Superman (David Corinswet) stops Jarhanpur from being invaded by Boravia, a US ally, and, as a result, gets his ass kicked and is defeated for the very first time by a metahuman going by the name of The Hammer of Boravia (which sounds like some kind of black metal band). Landing in Antarctica, he retreats to the Fortress of Solitude – or rather is dragged there by his dog, Krypto – before returning to the fight, unaware that he’s been followed. Later, after Luthor releases a monster in Metropolis to distract Superman and the “Justice Gang” (Green Lantern, Hawk Girl, Mr Terrific), The Engineer (Maria Gabriela de Faria) and Lex Luthor (Nicholas Holt) break in and The Engineer uses the nanotechnology in her body to hack the computer system there. They discover that a damaged message from Superman’s parents contains a second half where they tell Superman he should rule over humanity ruthlessly. Luthor uses this to destroy public support for Superman and ultimately captures him in a pocket universe using Metamorpho (Anthony Carrigan), who can create kryptonite with his body.

Superman escapes, saving Metamorpho’s son in the process, while Mr Terrific and Lois Lane (Rachel Brosnahan) find a way into the pocket universe so they can escape. A demoralised Superman returns to Ma and Pa Kent, who tell him it’s what he does that makes him who he is, not some silly message. This gives Superman enough hope that he stops Luthor, who has unleashed a dimensional rift and wants to start the war between Boravia and Jarhanpur, so he could have half of Jarhanpur after. Turns out he’s cloned Superman (which is how he got into the Fortress of Solitude) and used him as the Hammer of Boravia, and the whole scheme was just to take down Superman anyway. He doesn’t, and Krypto – the true hero of this film – takes him down.

Live and Let Die

It’s Roger’s first time in the tux! But does Live and Let Die manage to get the struggling movie series back on track?

Connery’s gone! Yes, again! So rather than a hard-nosed Scot or a slightly effete Australian, step forward instead the debonair, smooth and decidedly English Roger Moore, who takes over the role for the first time. But can his first outing hit the highs of Connery’s tenure? Or will he get lost in the slush like Lazenby?

Pre-Existing Prejudices

Well it’s the Blaxploitation one, isn’t it? James Bond coming up against the then-popular genre certainly isn’t an obvious combination, and there’s no denying the Bond series has generally struggled when it comes to displaying other cultures. I haven’t seen this in a very long time, so whether the racial or cultural politics stand the test of time I don’t know, but I do at least remember a few decent performances. And one which very, very much isn’t (can you guess who that might be?)

Diamonds Are Forever

The second of three exits for Connery but is this one any better than his first effort to leave the role?

Connery’s back! After Lazenby’s attack of ego / poor management advise-inspired decision to turn down a contract for several more Bond movies, Connery steps back into the role after having a metric fucktonne of money thrown at him to persuade him to do so. But now the first Bond has returned to the role, will the movie sparkle as brightly as the titular diamonds?